Before your baby is born, you’ll have probably debate over and over in your head what you want to do…

You’ll no doubt have pressure from both sides of the feeding fence to help you reach a decision!

As a qualified Nanny with a degree and two diplomas in Nursery Nursing, I was adamant that breast was best, and I would be solely breastfeeding for at least four months.

A breastfeeding nightmare…

Three infections, very painful (youch-oh-my-goodness) nipples and two bouts of double mastitis later, I gave up playing super mum and put my daughter onto formula at 6 weeks old.

Now many ‘experts’ will say that my daughter was latched on wrong, that I was’nt feeding properly, but as a professional nursery nurse who has taught others to breastfeed, I assure you I was doing everything correctly, it was just bad luck.

In 2005 I had a breast lumpectomy. The midwife and health visitor both reassured me that with all my best efforts, this was probably the cause of the constant pain and blockages, and supported my decision to go to bottle.

The day I went to bottle I felt like a dark cloud had lifted! From that moment on, my daughter thrived on formula, was in a four hour routine by two weeks, sleeping through the night at five weeks, and we were all very happy.

She jumped from a tiny baby at the bottom of the growth charts, to a thriving, healthy baby at the top within three months much to the amazement of the health visitor who wanted to know my secret!
My secret, is that I was happy, Betsy was happy and she was in a routine, eating and sleeping well, and this, together with lots of bonding, hubby taking over some of the feeds and fresh lots of fresh air we ensured that we were both healthy.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not down on breastfeeding!  I was jealous of the other mums  that managed to do it for those first essential months. I am however, down on the pressure new mothers face when they decide to bottle feed.

Second time around…

When my son was born in September, despite my fears of reaccurring mastitis, I decided to give breastfeeding another go. This time I decided to do combined feeding- offering breast, then bottle, then breast.

I wish, (so,so wish,) I had done this with my daughter. It worked a treat. No bad nipples, no mastitis, and a very happy mummy and baby boy.

This time breastfeeding worked well. So well in-fact, that when I wasn’t producing enough for my very hungry baby, I was very reluctant to stop breastfeeding and put him fully on formula! (Yes -he needed to go on formula, yes, I was doing the right thing- back off breastapo!)

 

Most new mothers feel they should breastfeed, even when they don’t really want to. They are often pressurised
to do so by midwives, health visitors and other mums! breast is best, but not for everybody.

Respect those who can but don’t judge those who can’t…

When I first told changed to bottle, I would get questions from random strangers about my choice, sadly I have to say, from other pushy mothers! You may have experienced this yourself; experienced mothers will have their preferences and many will offer you their unsolicited advice!

While experts agree that breast milk is the ideal food for infants, many mothers cannot, or would prefer not to nurse, and often suffer for their decision not to, but why should they? It’s all about choice!

Commercially prepared baby formulas offer a high quality alternative to breastfeeding and are formulated to contain all the necessary ingredients to support a growing baby’s healthy development.

So, if you do decide not to breastfeed, it is important to remember that you are choosing what works best for you and your baby and not to feel guilty about that choice. If you do decide to feed your baby with a commercially prepared formula, be assured that your baby’s nutritional needs will be met and you’ll still bond with your baby just fine!

The decision to breastfeed or formula feed your baby is a very personal one. But here are some points you may want to consider as you decide which is best for you and your new addition.

The good, the bad and the ugly of breastfeeding!

The good:

There are lots of benefits to breastfeeding, not only is breast milk nutritionally superior to baby formula, but it has been suggested that breast fed babies often experience less gassiness and spitting up than bottle fed babies, although this always the case.

*Breast milk provides babies with valuable antibodies not present in commercially prepared formula.

*Breast-fed babies are less prone to respiratory and ear infections, asthma, allergies and diabetes than those who are bottle fed.

In addition to the health benefits for baby, mothers who breastfeed can benefit too. Breastfeeding burns calories and helps to shrink the uterus too, meaning that getting back into those pre-pregnancy clothes might be a little easier.

Additionally, studies show that mothers who breastfed their babies have a lower incidence of premenopausal breast cancer than their bottle feeding peers and there is some evidence suggesting that breastfeeding may reduce a woman’s chances of getting ovarian and uterine cancer.

Unlike bottle feeding, breastfeeding means you are always ready to feed your baby and you do not have to strerilise and make up bottles.

From a financial point of view, breastfeeding is certainly more affordable than bottle feeding! Some formula now costs up to £9 a box!

The bad:

Although it is the best nutritional source for babies, breastfeeding does come with some concerns that many new mothers share. Whereas it’s easy from the start for some, it can be really challenging, frustrating and stressful for others.

Sometimes, both mother and baby need plenty of patience and persistence to get used to the routine of breastfeeding and this can come at a price when mum is overtired and baby is very hungry.

Initially, as with any new skill, many moms feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding, but with adequate education, support, and practice, most mothers overcome this.

The bottom line is that breastfeeding shouldn’t hurt, but it often does due to poor latching which can cause inflamation and soreness that can lead to mastitis.

Latch on pain is normal for the first week to 10 days, and should last less than a minute with each feeding. Many times, it’s just a matter of using the proper technique, but sometimes pain can mean that something else is going on, like an infection.

There’s no question that breastfeeding does require a substantial time commitment from mothers, but then parenting is time consuming and we should love it not resent it!

Feeding in public is still difficult. Many women are embarrassed to do so (they should’nt be) but nonetheless they are and feeding rooms are few and far between.

The ugly:

*Sore or worse still, cracked nipples

*Painful engorged breasts

*Infections

*Mastitis

*After breastfeeding your lovely pert breasts are never the same!

The good, the bad, and the ugly of bottle feeding!

Not all mothers are able to breastfeed and bottle feeding is their only choice. Women who are HIV positive or have AIDS, as well as mothers who are undergoing chemotherapy treatments are not good candidates for breastfeeding.

Some medications, both prescription and over-the-counter, make breastfeeding inadvisable.

Some women simply choose not to breast feed for personal reasons and for them and their babies formula provides a balanced, nutrient rich diet for their baby’s first year of life.

The Good:

Bottle feeding can be easier than breastfeeding in several ways. Bottle fed babies can be fed by the father or other caregiver without the need to pump milk, which, in the middle of the night, can be a big advantage!

Also, formula digests more slowly than breast milk, so bottle fed babies typically remain satisfied for longer stretches of time than breastfed babies. This can be particularly beneficial in families with several children to care for, especially those with multiples.

Breastfeeding mothers have to be careful about their diets since many foods and beverages will affect the quality of their milk. Spicy food, some vegetables, alcohol and chocolate (oh no!) can make the mother’s milk hard for her baby to digest, so formula feeding mums do not have to concern themselves with how their diet will impact their baby’s meals! They are free to eat whatever they choose.

Today’s high quality formulations provide growing babies with all of the necessary nutrients in balanced, pediatrician recommended ratios.

Sterilising units, bottles and accessories are now widely available and easy to use, so making up bottles isn’t as fussy as it used to be.

Most cafes and restaurants can warm bottles for you now or provide hot water for you to warm your baby’s feed. There are also lots of bottle holders that keep milk fresh while out and about, or dispensers that you can take with you.

The bad:

Unlike breastmilk, formula can be expensive, most boxes now cost up to £9 of which you’ll around need two a week!

Some babies taking formula can have more problems with gas and constipation and have firmer bowel movements than breastfed babies as it’s a thicker solution than breast-milk.
Breast milk contains antibodies, which protect the baby from viral and bacterial infections such as respiratory problems and meningitis. Antibodies are not found in formula making the baby more susceptible to illness.
Formula  needs to be mixed with the proper quantity of water each time and bottles and nipples need to be sterilised, this is a lot more time consuming than breastfeeding. There are ready-to-feed formulas available, but they tend to be expensive.
The ugly:

*If the bottles or nipples are not properly cleaned and sterilised there is a risk of transmitting bacterial infection which can lead to serious illness in young babies.

*It’s expensive! you’ll need at least five bottles, teats, tops, bottle brushes and a steriliser.

*The guilt factor! No matter how much it’s your choice, there will always be pressure from the media, the experts and worst of all, other mothers to make you feel guilty about your choice. however, remember it is your choice  an only you know what’s right for you and your baby.

What our CCIF readers think…

Emma, mum to two. One bottle-fed, one breast-fed…

‘I respect women for the choices they make in parenting their children, as long as the kids are safe. Bringing up small children is such hard work that we need to support and value our different styles and support one another in doing what feels right for our kids but also what helps us feel happy as parents too.

I had postnatal depression after my first son was born and I couldn’t breastfeed. I had milk, but psychologically could not bear the idea of it. I didn’t even try. Now I feel sad about that because I think I missed out. But I was ill, and the pressure and guilt around not breastfeeding made me iller and iller.

I think if someone wants to breastfeed their child till they are 7 that is fine for them and would not judge. Likewise if someone wants to or has to formula feed I respect that. Don’t judge what you don’t understand. There is no real evidence that formula feeding is bad for babies. Not as natural granted, but it gives dads a great opportunity to feed and bond with babies.

I breastfed my second till he was 2 and loved it. But my bond with both kids is equally good, both are just as healthy and well adjusted and the important thing was that I was happy with my decision.’
Jo, Mum to One – Bottle-fed…

‘My choice to bottle feed was objected to from the word go from my midwife and then my health visitor.

I didn’t want to breastfeed, not that I don’t think others should, just that it wasn’t for me.

My son was in a fantastic routine from birth, he thrived (and is still a thriving two year old) yet I was constantly bobmarded with ‘oh you should breastfeed’ and ‘breast is best!’

The way I see it is you should do what makes you happy and everyone else should mind their own business.

If your baby is happy and thriving, then where is the problem?’

Kate Mum to one – Breastfed then bottle fed…

I hated breastfeeding with a passion at first. After 3 long months of battling I decided to do what was right for me and my baby and turned to formula. It was the right decision. The minute my baby went onto formula it was as if I began enjoying being a mummy for the first time.

There is so much support for breast-feeding mums, but none for bottle feeding! I was told by a children’s centre worker that she was ‘not allowed to give me bottle feeding advice as it wasn’t best for my baby!’

It’s sad that others judge so harshly. Some mums would sneer at me when I had a bottle. It’s funny really- how did they know it was formula and not breast milk?

Do what you want, not what others want you to!

The problem new mums face today is that so many ‘experts’ offer their opinions and advice in such a forceful way, that women feel they don’t really have a choice other than to do as they’re told. Many midwives and Health visitirs won’t offer bottle feeding advice until breastfeeding has failed.

Hands off my boobs!

When you’re pregnant you’re bombarded with advice and ideas from others that you hardly have time to make your own decisions, when you’re a new mum its like your boobs become public property and are up for debate! Don’t you just want to shout ‘hands off my boobs?!’

Mothers who happily breastfeed often feel the need to share their positive experience and can’t understand why others don’t follow in their footsteps.

So if your’e a mum to be or new mum reading this, remember it’s all about choice. Like anything in life you make your own choices, how to have your hair, what clothes to wear and what food to eat. As long as you’re healthy and happy and your baby is happy and healthy and  how you choose to feed them is entirely your choice and nobody else’s concern!

And if your’e an experienced ‘I know what’s best’ mum or professional reading this, then yes, of course it’s good to give advice, to help a new mother, to share your experiences and knowledge, but forcing your opinion to breastfeed or bottle feed on a new mum or pregnant woman who just might not want to, or cannot breastfeed isn’t helpful or right.

So hands off my boobs! Hands off their boobs! Let’s all live and let live!

 

 

 

A similar article written by Fi is on the popular parenting site ‘Mum’s Rock!’