My son won’t eat!

Hi Fi!

My son wont eat anything other than plain pasta! I really have tried everything, but he just wont budge! He’s Four and rather stubborn.

It’s getting embarrassing when we go out to eat or he gets invited for tea dates.

Please help!

Mummy J

Hi Mummy J,

First of all, please don’t worry, this is so common in young children and a battle that over time, with lots of encouragement and praise, can be won! I have this same worry from parents over and over again, so you’re not alone in your fight against mealtimes!

All children go through a battle of wills, and it is hard to not give into their demands, however, you need to be really strong and take control of the situation.

Pasta is a great start ( I’ve dealt with some some children who would  only eat yoghurt before!)

With pasta you can introduce other foods in with it (if your son has no allergies) such as cheese, tomato sauces, pesto, grated veg (great way of disguising veggies!)

Encourage your son to cook with you, prepare the meal together and talk about the smells and colours and shapes of the food.

Make a reward chart ( I’m a huge fan of reward charts) to help him try new things. Move him up the chart for positive behaviour, and down for negative. If he tries something new, you could move him up two places.

If your son refuses to try new foods that you have gradually introduced into his pasta, and leaves his meal, don’t offer anything in replacement.

As a parent you’re bound to worry if he’s going to starve, but on the whole, children don’t do this, and will give in and try eventually.

Remember positivity is the key. Don’t make idol threats or bribe him with some other sweet food, this will just make him focus on the treat and dig his heels in even more to achieve it without trying his food!

Good luck,

Let me know how you get on!

Fi

My son who is 7 struggles with writing…

My son who is 7 struggles with writing. He is very good at reading (one of the top in his class) but finds writing (and spelling) quite hard.

This has caused problems at school in him ‘playing up’ in clas. His teacher is very helpful and understanding but has’nt really helped me help him if you know what I mean?

Do you have any advice on how to improve his confidence and improve his writing skills?

Thanks!

K

Hello!

Are his writing skills below average for his age? Assuming, he is able to break down words phonetically when reading in order to understand them then he already has high skill in relating letter and sound.   Does he have trouble with fine motor skills? How are the children sat in the classroom – i.s. ability tables, mixed? Is he aware that other children are able to write with more accuracy than him? Have you spoken with him about it? Is it possible that at school another child has ridiculed his writing?

Any teacher worth their salt will understand that ‘playing up’ in a class is usually down to children not being challenged, being challenged too much, or being unwilling to undertake a task in which they perceive themselves to be ‘poor’.

You need to ask for an appointment with the school senco – special educational needs coordinator. It seems to me that he/she will be able to discuss a short term programme with realistic targets to move him on with his writing. She may place him in a target group but beware, if your child is bright he may resent this segregation and this may push him further into a spiral of not wanting to write. The school will not give him a sever IEP (individual education plan) if he is able to read at a high level.

Unless there are problems with motor skills, I would suggest perhaps he is under confident and hence has become unwilling to try.  At home, you can take 15 mins every evening in which he copies a page of his current reading book onto paper. When he has completed say 5 pages, he is to be given a reward. Keep this up. Every few days add in a dictation – you need a shopping list, can he write it while you cook the dinner? Relate his writing to real life as much as possible. Remind him at all times his writing is very good, even if it isn’t. Always tell him he is improving, even if improvement is only slight. Buy him a ‘special’ pen to have at home – let him choose it. Make sure no one else is allowed it. It will let him have a sense of pride in his written work.

He needs to have targets in school, and he needs to have them now before this situation gets out of hand. Pressure your class teacher. Persevere.

Hope that this is of some help, let me know if I can do anything else!

Brooke