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Your toddler questions
My two year old doesn’t talk!
Hi there!
I have a 2 year old who can say her numbers and some other words but not simple sentences; all she does is babble.
My HV says not to worry and that all children develop at their own rate, but it’s hard not to when all of my friends children are speaking so well.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!
Mum D
Hi Mum D,
As parents we all find times when we compare our own children’s development with other children we know, and worry unnecessarily. Its completely normal and we have all been there at some point in our children’s lives.
I know its hard but the main thing to do is try not to compare development, like your Health Visitor says, all children are different, and develop at different rates.
There is a guideline to ensure that children do not not need extra support, however, if your Health Visitor has already advised you not to worry, it is worth trusting their judgement.
The fact that your child has already started to speak numbers and words is really very good progress and needs praise! At two years old I would be expecting a child to say some words, and understand simple sentences and show an interest in written and spoken words through rhymes and stories.
If you would like to help your child develop their communication skills, there are lots of practical ways you can help. Simple activities I use to develop children’s communication skills at my setting include, singing nursery rhymes (or any rhyming songs or stories will do – books like Hairy Maclary and Julia Donaldson stories are excellent for this), reading stories together, talking to your child about everything you are doing.
Do not put any pressure on your child to talk, if they babble – acknowledge their attempts at communication. If they say words, repeat them back to show you understand.
Providing toys/props such as telephones, microphones and pictures/photo’s/flashcards are also good ideas. I would avoid are long periods of time watching television, and talking for your children, (i.e letting them point to objects they want, then giving them the object without them trying to verbally communicate what they want – older siblings are also more prone to doing this!).
I hope these ideas help.
Becky
Potty training advice needed!
Dear Fi,
Potty training time is with us!
I’ve been putting if off a while until the weather is warmer.
My daughter has been weeing on the potty for some months already (not all the time, usually just after a bath), so I’m just going to take the nappy off and see what happens I think.
She says when she needs a wee or poo, before she does it, and she is aware of it happening.
So words of wisdom will be much appreciated!
Mum B
Hello!
You’re totally on the right track, if she’s now aware of her bodily functions, youre onto a winner!
Well done on getting her used to the potty early after her bath.
Try after every meal and before any outing or activity too when she’s in pants.
DO NOT use pull ups, not only they are a waste of money, they give a false sense of security.
Buy pretty or character pants, make a huge deal of it ‘big girl pants’ and talk about how pretty and lovely they are and how it would be a little sad to wee or poop them.
At bedtime, start reffering to nappies as ‘goodnight pants’ or ‘nappies’ don’t call them baby nappies as you might find she’ll be reluctant to wear a nappy again after the big girl pants.
Night training takes longer and is usually when they’re a bit older (controlling the bladder during sleep is extremely hard for toddlers.)
Make a huge fuss every time a wee or poo is done on the potty.
I would’ve suggested straight to toilet on a special potty seat as when you have successfully potty trained you then have to toilet train, as some children have a fear of the loo and insist on the potty for months and months. (it’s also easier when out and about!)
Good luck!
Fi
My toddler screams at night!
Hello,
My 14 month daughter is a bedtime screamer!
We were really lucky as a baby she slept through the night at 6 weeks old but that all stopped at 10 months old after a hospital admission and we have been struggling since January.
H either goes to be bed quietly without a squeak then will wake screaming and crying only to settle with us in our bed, not the best idea but it means we all sleep, or H wont sleep in her bed so she nods off lying on me and when I put her to bed she sits up and screams and she can scream.
We have been reduced to a tough love idea and letting her scream it out, but I hate this and I struggle to leave her but eventually she is exhusted and sleeps until she wakes screaming.
We have a bedside light but nothing seems to help, maybe you can.
H’s Mum
Hi!
I’m sorry to hear about your problem with your toddler, but am pleased to say I think I can help.
It’s great that H knows how to sleep through (you mentioned she used to) as this means it’ll be easier to achieve in the long run.
Around your daughters age, children tend to try all sorts of things to test their parents, and although its hard, it’s important to remain firm and in control (which it sounds like youre doing.)
I’m glad you are a fan of the control crying technique, however before I suggest you use it fully, I need to know a few things.
Please answer the following honestly (no one is here to judge, I’m just here to help!)
1.what is your daughters daily routine
2. Does your daughter B feed or bottle?
3. Is she a good eater?
4. What is your daughters bedtime routine?
5. What activities she you do during the day?
6. Does she attend nursery/childminder or stays home with you (ie do you work?)
7. What was her hospital admission for and how long was she in for?
8. Where is she in her development (is she at the right stage?)
9. Does she have any medical conditions I should be aware of?
10. Is she an only child? if not, what are the ages of your other children?
let me know as much as you can, and I’ll get back to you.
The Answers….
1..what is your daughters daily routine?
It depends on the days i am at work, if I am working H goes to nursery, awake and out by quarter to seven, nursery and home by quarter to seven. If I am home, up at the same time, breakfast, play, a nap, lunch, play, dinner, my husband comes home, play time with daddy, bath, cereal before bed, a bottle and then bed
2. Does your daughter B feed or bottle?
Bottle
3. Is she a good eater?
No problems with food, loves to eat
4. What is your daughters bedtime routine?
Bedtime tea at half six-ish, followed by a bottle of bed time milk, calm time with bill and I then bed between half seven and eight
5. What activities she you do during the day?
H goes to nursery, one nap mid morning and lots of activity.
6. Does she attend nursery/childminder or stays home with you (ie do you work?)
I work, paediatric nurse 3 days a week H goes to nursery
7. What was her hospital admission for and how long was she in for?
Bronch 2 nights but had been unwell since October, everyone told me no its not bronch and it was, pesky wrong diagnosis.
8. Where is she in her development (is she at the right stage?)
At the right stage
9. Does she have any medical conditions I should be aware of?
Asthmatic has night time medication
10. Is she an only child? if not, what are the ages of your other children?
The only one
Hi!
Thanks for the answers.
From what you tell me, she’s in a well balanced routine and eats well- this is one of the most common problems of sleep problems, so we can rule this out.
Night asthma can cause a lot of discomfort and upset in the night ( i’ve had two previous charges with this condition which they outgrew thankfully.)
I would suggest the following:
1.Tilted cot (Head end) to help with breathing and avoiding mucus settling on the chest.
2. Bedtime routines as normal, but chatting about bedtime- including books about bedtime and how night time is for sleeping. (She’s young, but getting into good habit ushc as talking about things and reading books together about them is essential)
3. ***Use the control crying technique- but (big but here!) Dont leave her crying for more than five minutes at a time to begin with.
Go in after five minutes, pop her down in her cot if she’s standing, and simply say ‘shhhhhh, bedtime’. Dont get into a conversation with her about anything (it’s very tempting to talk to calm her but
just repeat….shhhhh…it’s bedtime) Leave the room after approx ten-twenty secs of saying shhh and settling her, then DO NOT return for another five minutes.
This might mean a sitting session outside her bedroom door, but its essential to keep repeating the actions and words. (A good book comes in handy!)
Leaving her to cry it out until she exhausted will only work short term- she’ll soon be awake again in the middle of the night. Its essential to get her to fall asleep by herself, so she can learn to settle
herself again on waking in the night. (Most babies wake during the night, like adults, but simply go back to sleep.
***Of course if you think (some days) she is in distress due to her asthma or illness then don’t use the control crying on these days.
4. night Lights dont help- babies/toddlers need the dark to aid sleep (blackout blinds too if you have them?) If she wakes and can see- it’s more of a reason to gewt up. If its dark, her mind says
‘night time’ and she’ll (eventually) learn to go back to sleep. so dont use a night light.
5. both parents need to use the same techniique, the same words, the same time limits. If you use different techniques, it’ll only confuse her.
6. Dont pick her up! This will send out a clear message of which she’ll gewt used to (Oh, I get it, I cry, they come, pick me up, take me out! Yay!)
7. Ensure her room is well ventilated, cosy, and a place you’d like to sleep in too. not too many cuddly toys in her cot, and room to move. dress her in weather appropriate clothes (just a vest and gro
bag in the summer etc)
I totally understand how hard it is to hear your child cry, but remember she’s crying because she’s tired and she’s asking you for reassurance- you need to reassure that its sleep time- shes tired, go
back to sleep!
sleep training is stressful, noisy and tiring, but if you stay strong, positive and work at it using the techniques- it’ll work.
These techniques have been used on hundreds of my previous charges & clients and my own daughter- they worked every time!
Any problems or questions, dont hesitate to contact me again!
Fi
Too young to toilet train?
Hi!
We have a 2 year old (2 in July) and had no intention of potty training him at all until next spring time, but the little super star that he is, has shown us he is ready. (He has a big 4 year old brother which may be why he’s keen on using the toilet).
He has been dry in the night most nights and going for a wee when he wakes up, and throughout the day asks for a wee but still doesn’t tell us about poos until he is doing them!
We’ve stuck with nappies to just get him used to sitting on the toilet (which he loves) but we think that we should now be moving on to pants.
This morning he asked to wear pants after having his first morning wee so we thought it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try – (didn’t really want to knock his confidence by saying no to pants).
He’s done well and hasn’t had an accident yet (but hasn’t done a poo yet today) however, he does tend to ‘dribble’ quite a bit during his actual wees. Is this normal? Are we doing it all too soon? Hope you can help if you are not too busy!!
K
Hi K,
I hope I can help!
Firstly, very well done on encouraging little man to go into pants – even if he’s not totally ready, its totally the right thing to do if he asks to give it a try.
Saying no will knock his confidence and he may not ask again- so well done taking the plunge!
Poo is definatley the hardest thing to master, and I would say here, the key is to buy some rather splendid pants (something he really isnt going to want to ruin!)
With pull-ups and nappies, children dont mind soiling or wetting them as they get thrown away. However, with pants, if you explain to him that they are super special and that they will ruin if he poops them, it’ll
really remind him to try and make it to the toilet.
Remember he’s only young, and accidents are bound to happen. At this age I’d say an average of one-two a day is normal for the first week. Any more than this – he’s not ready.
As for the dribbling- this is normal with little boys. Try and encourage him to totally finish his wee, and to give his little boy bits a little shake! Also encourage him to dab with a bit of toilet paper.
He’ll soon get the hang of it, especially if you make it routine and say ‘give a little shake and a little dab, then we wash our hands!’
I’ve toilet trained lots of boys, so I understand your concerns. Did you know boys are actually harder to train than girls?!
If you have any probs at all, please dont hesitate to get in touch- I’m happy to help.
All the best, and very well done on the work so far!
Fi