Newborn worries! Can you help?

Hi Fi,

I have a three week old baby who is brilliant and on a three hourly routine but cries from about seven until the dream feed at half ten/elevenish.

She doesn’t really pull her legs up in pain or posset etc so we can’t figure out what is wrong.

We have a two and a half year old and we demand fed etc, this time we read books and are on a routine! BUT, none of the books really offer a solution to evening crying. Gina says she’d be horrified if any of her babies cries; baby whisperer says it is just a period of wakefullness and rachel wadilove says it’ll stop after 6 weeks…..will it? What can we try?

I am not eating garlic or kiwi etc (I am breastfeeding), we are very strict on the feeding schedule (7, 10, 1, 4, although some evening we cluster the 7 in to a 6 and an 8).

What do you think?

Thank you for any tips.

Mummy T

Hi Mummy T,

Firstly congrats on your new arrival, and even more congrats on the routine- that’s good work so early!

I have a couple of suggestions and if they dont work we can try something else.

*Hunger

Evening feeds are usually the feeds when baby eats most, do you find this with the 7 feed? If the answer is yes, it may be that baby is hungrier and needs a little more feed at this time.

You say you are solely breastfeeding? If you are happy to, I would suggest perhaps a formula feed at this time as it may be that she is not getting enough from you at the end of the day.

If you dont want to mix feed (I know midwives and HV’s dont really recommend it) then I would try and leave her on the breast as long as possible at the 7pm feed.

*Overtired

When she has had her 7pm feed do you put her to bed?

If not, this too could be the problem.

Your baby needs her sleep (and lots of it) and often parents think that rocking and pacing the room is a good way of settling, when in fact it can make it worse.

Try popping her into her crib/cot, swaddled and the lights off, half an hour after her feed when she has been winded and changed and you’re sure she has eaten enough and is comfortable.

Follow the control crying techniques on our blog

*Reflux

It might be silent reflux (like painful indigestion) which my baby (now 7 months) suffered with for the first three months. Her times of suffering though was usually after her 10pm feed.

The most helpful thing for this is to pop books under the head-end feet of the crib/cot to elevate it slightly, and to not put baby down until 30 mins after a feed.

(Make sure baby has at least three good burps after her feeds too.)

I wish you all the best, it’s really exhausting dealing with a crying baby, so I really hope I’ve helped.

Please don’t hesitate to contact me should you need to.  I’m happy to help.

Regards,

Fi

My baby won’t sleep through the night! Help!

Dear Nanny Fi,

My 7 month old has never really slept through, but has always been a fairly good sleeper at night (usually one wake up where she would feed quickly and settle for the rest of the night).

A few weeks after I started weaning her I started to cut out those night feeds, and after a few nights’ battle she did actually sleep for 10 hours straight – result!  She did this a couple of times, so I know she can do it.

But, in the last week or so it feels as though we’ve taken 3 giant steps backwards.  She has been waking at 10, 1.30 and 3.30 every night – and will NOT be placated by anything other than feeding.

Sometimes even that doesn’t do the trick – it just seems that she wants to be awake.  A few of the nights she appeared to be in discomfort like she was constipated, but the day after she appeared to have no trouble filling her nappies!

Couple of facts that might be pertinent and give you an overview of our situation: she is small, always has been, and hasn’t yet doubled her birth weight (but have chatted with HV and everything fine).

I have always, since about 5 weeks anyway, been vigilant about putting her down in her cot whilst awake so she is more than capable of falling asleep on her own.

Sometimes admittedly she’ll fall asleep on the breast at the 7pm feed, but I’d say at least 50% of the time she falls asleep in her cot.

She is not a fan of daytime naps!  She varies between 2 and 3 naps a day, and rarely sleeps longer than 40 minutes for each of those.

I have never been able to get her into a routine with regard to the times of these naps.

Food-wise, she takes 3 meals a day plus 3 milk feeds, so I give her an early morning milk, then breakfast.  Lunch at noon, then a milk feed at around 2.30 or 3pm, then tea at 5ish.  Last milk at 6.45 before bed at 7pm.

I breastfeed…varied attempts at giving her a cup or bottle not hugely successful, but I am happy to continue BF especially as HV has suggested I drop the 3pm feed (which would mean I am only feeding twice a day).

That said, I did try dropping that feed and this is when the sleeplessness started, so I have reinstated it (thought this might be causing the constipation) but to no effect yet!

This last week has taken its toll and I am exhausted! Any hints you might have that I can try would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

Mum N.

Hi Mum N!

I really hope I can help as I have helped so many in the past, but each case is different, each child is different, so the advice I give you can either take all of it and stick to it, or take what you want to and adapt it- whichever you feel you’re comfortable with.

Bare in mind there have been hundreds of mums with excactly the same concerns and problems with you and I’m proud to say I’ve helped all of them achieve a happy, healthy routine and fab sleepers through the night.

My daughter (and all of my previous charges) were put into a four hour routine from birth – sounds harsh? No, not really.

Health visitors and midwives tell new mothers to feed on demand, the NCT is a huge fan of this leaving poor mothers never knowing when to start a routine if baby has always been fed on demand.

The children I have looked after in the past, and my own daughter (now 8 months) have all picked up the four-hour pattern after only two days of life, showing that it works, they’re not distressed, and they thrive.

Betsy (my little girl) went from a low birth weight, bottom of the centile baby, to the top in only two months! Routine is the key.

When a baby feeds four hourly, it takes lots on board, is satisfied, and digests the food longer and feels fuller until the next feed.

Babies that feed on demand (eating little and often) are hungrier quicker, even when they really need to be sleeping, and therefor get stressed, upset, sometimes dont feed as they’re too tired, and a routine is unlikely to form.

At this age your baby should be easily put into a routine which will ensure happiness for you both, a healthy appetite and ensure good strong development.

Some parents think that if a baby doesn’t sleep during the day that they will be more tired at night and thus sleep longer and better- no! this is wrong, infact the total opposite happens.

Babies that dont have regular naps during the day are grouchy, grumbly and overtired, therefore waking lots in the night.

Here is a basic routine for you to have a go at:

On waking:

7am- milk and baby breakfast (solids)

9.30am milk and baby breakfast

10am nap for half an hour (leave in cot, in darkened room)

*if she is adament she will not sleep you must still try, as after a few days she’ll get to know the routine and eventually sleep. (You can use the control crying technique here if youre comfortable to do

so.)

10.30am- wake up and play. Lots of stimulation such as a walk to the park, free play on the floor with lots of chatting and interaction etc.

12pm milk and lunch (solids)

12.30pm nap time for 1.5-2 hours (at least)

Afternoon activity such as walking, playing, singing, music etc. Again lots of stimulation.

4pm milk and solids (here is where you can cut the milk eventually as at 7 months a baby only needs 600mls of milk a day, however, if youre daughter needs to gain weight I would advise giving milk.

4.30pm activity- yes more stimulation! lots of play, chatting, walking or if youre too busy ensure she is surrounded by toys or a baby gym.

5.30pm bathtime.

At bathtime ensure there is lots of singing,noise,splashing and activity.

6pm pyjamas, cuddles and bottle/breast in her room

6.30pm bedtime!

Again let her fall to sleep naturally, and if she is cross use the control crying technique if you feel comfortable to do so.

On waking in the night it is important you DO NOT feed her as this will become habit and she will wake at the same times each night demanding (because she thinks she needs to) feed!

Also avoid picking her up.

Simply go in after she has cried for a few minutes (its important not to go right away to a crying baby as they often settle themselves back to sleep) pop your hand on her tummy and stroke it saying ‘shhhhhhhhh, sleepy time.’ then leave the room (the volume may increase here, or she may just feel comforted.)

Again here, use the control crying technique (i’ve linked it below) and be strong!

It’s up to you to let her know its bedtime, its sleep time, and only you can do this. She doesn’t understand- she takes her lead from you, so you need to be strong.

It is really hard at first, but if youre strong, stick to the routines as best you can youll see an improvement at best in five days, at most two weeks depending on how ridgedly you stick to it.

Its tiring, exhausting, emotionally draining but if you want a better life for both of you in the long run- itll be worth the effort.

My daughter (and previous cherges) sleep throught the night (Betsy from five weeks) and are happy, healthy, thriving children.

Betsy sleeps 630pm-8am

She has a half hour morning nap and a 2-3 hour afternoon nap

I really hope I’ve helped and given you some hope?!

If you have any questions or concerns at anytime dont hesitate to contact me again- I’m happy to help.

Good luck!

Fi