Rules of parenting

I’m going to share something with you now. Something that a 22 year career in Childcare, two children of my own, a degree in Childhood and Youth studies, a Diploma in childhood studies, an NNEB Diploma in Nursery Nursing and over 200 parenting emails a week to my free parenting advice service has taught me. 

 

The Rules of parenting!

1. Don’t worry about sleep!

Your baby doesn’t sleep? You are not a failure. Your baby is normal. Trust me – if all the other parents are telling you that their babies sleep every single night and have done since day one, it’s likely they are lying. (Check for heavy use of touch éclat and constant coffee drinking – it’s a dead giveaway!)

 

Your baby isn’t born with an ability to sleep at night and be awake all day. It takes time. Gentle guidance and love. And no – you don’t have to follow harsh sleep training methods to gaina happy Baby Bedtime. 

 

There are no rules to sleep. You can choose to do whatever you like when it comes to sleep as long as it’s safe. 

 

So don’t worry about sleep.

 

2. PJ days are O.K

You know those baby mags with the perfect parent on the front with the perfect hair and skin? Amazing clothes, no snot on the shoulder or sick on the jumper? No baby (or in my case – cake) belly in sight? The baby is beautiful and smiling?

It’s. Not. Real.

 

This is more realistic…

Note the eye bags from no sleep during a rotten teething time. Bad hair day, no make-up, old comfy jumper and tracky bottoms. 

That’s more realistic.

 

Knackered? Bad night? Feeling poorly – have a PJ day. Snuggle, cuddle, play and watch movies with your littlies. It’s ok to have a PJ day. Hey – have two! Have a week if you’re feeling lousy.

 

Your baby or little one really doesn’t care that you’re not wearing Prada my sweet. PJs are equally awesome ok?

 

Give yourself a break. PJ days are good. (Really good!)

 

3. Breast is best but happiness is better.

So you don’t breastfeed? Guess what? You’re not a failure.

 

It’s up to you to decide what’s best for you, not Mrs know-it-all Jones from baby group or Earth Mother from soft play.

 

Your boobs. Your baby. Your informed choice.

 

If you do breastfeed and you’re struggling and want to continue – guess what? You’re not a failure either! It’s often hard work.

 

If you are in need of help and advice, ask your midwife or health visitor for support. You might need to ask lots – but ask. 

 

Still no joy? Ask and ask again. They’re there to help you and your little one.

 

Look for a breastfeeding support group in your area and try lots of different positions and techniques. It’s easy to give up in the first few days but if you really want to try – give it a good go.

 

Happiness is important. Whatever you choose – make sure it’s what YOU want and not others.

 

4. It’s ok to have a messy house

Shock horror – the queen of clean here says it’s ok to have mess? Yup. It sure is. Put that duster down and go snuggle your baby! 

 

Time with your baby or littly is far more important than a shiny coffee table and kitchen ok? I’m serious here! 

 

Clean pants are kinda essential but a shiny bathroom? Not so much. Enjoy messy fun. Enjoy quality time. Enjoy getting out and about. Enjoy the small things.

 

It’s OK to have a messy house.

 

5. You don’t have to be Gordon Ramsey in the kitchen to be a fabulous parent.

Can’t cook? Lousy in the kitchen? You’re not a failure.

 

See those pinterest amazing pictures of food – do you know how long they take the pros to set up? Ignore. 

 

Master the art of easy cake making. Or biscuits. (See my biscuits of awesome above? made by a 3,4 and 38 year old in under 20 minutes. Taste awesome. no crazy recipe – simple and fun.) Cakes and biscuits are essential for happy parenting.

 

Basic meals are easy to prepare. If you do however, tend to burn everything, even peas, get food in that’s healthy and balanced and easy to prepare. You can’t really go too far wrong with pasta. 

 

Fish fingers for tea? Who cares as long as your little ones are eating veggies and fruit too, does it really matter that they’ve not had homemade salmon en croute for tea?

 

Of course not sweet cheeks.

 

I bet even Gordon Ramsey’s kids have fish fingers for tea some days. 

 

6. It’s ok to say no.

Littlies demanding every single minute of your time? Stop there a minute lovely face. They don’t need you 24-7. (Even babies don’t need holding and cuddling 24-7!)

 

Take time for you each day and don’t you dare feel guilty about it. Recharge! Seriously – I’m talking cake and a cuppa. Even 10 minutes.

 

When your little one naps – don’t rush about doing chores. Take a break. Take a moment to stop.

 

It’s OK to pop a movie on for your toddler or older child. Enjoy the peace for a moment. You are not a failure to say no once in a while to their demands and yes to you time – even if it’s a few minutes resting with a cuppa. 

 

Same rule goes for sweets, expensive toys, one last story, bogie eating and dog chasing – say no and don’t be afraid to. 

 

You don’t need to get shouty though. No one likes a grump.

 

7. It’s ok to boast.

Yes that’s an award in my hand. I’m proud of my work, my achievements and super proud of my littlies. 

 

So boast away! Share your happiness!

 

Littlies first wee on the toilet? First shoes? First night of sleeping all night? First tooth grown through? Share away my sweets!

 

If it annoys people they can hide/block/unfollow you. Simples.

 

Be proud of your babies – they grow so fast. Take a gazzillion photos and share as much as you like!

 

It’s OK to boast.

 

8. Don’t worry about the competition!

You’ll soon find as a parent that others get competitive. Oh my word they do. Don’t worry about it. Shake it off. 

 

Every child is different. Every parent is different.

 

If your awesome poppet is still in nappies at 3 1/2 when your best friends little one was in pants at 2 – who cares? Pleeeease don’t worry.

 

Every child develops at a different rate.

 

It’s not a competition!

 

Of course – shout out loud and proud about their achievements but don’t compare your child to others.

 

It’s not a competition. Don’t worry.

 

9. There are no rules!

You know what? As long as your child is happy then you rock. That my lovelies is parenting at it’s finest. 

Well done you.

You don’t need a parenting book to tell you what to do – trust your instincts (although mine is quite ace so you might want to break the no-parenting-book rule on that one.)

 

And finally. Finally, finally my sweets…

 

10. Love each day. Even the rubbish ones.

Toilet training nightmare days, mud trampled through the house days, crayon on the newly decorated wallpaper days, baby vomit on your PJ days, sunshine-fun-time days – love each day.

 

Littlies grow so fast. Don’t sweat the small stuff and just enjoy the parenting journey of awesome. 

If you’d like to add to my list of parenting rules – please do leave a comment! The funnier the better!