‘My baby won’t sleep!’
It’s a common problem that I get asked for help with from hundreds of very tired and stressed parents every week and a problem I’m proud and happy to say I’ve helped thousands of parents with over the years.
Not only have my gentle techniques worked on other parents children, they have worked with my own two children who sleep on average, 13 hours a night.
How to get a baby to sleep!
As with all things in raising little ones, it’s about what works for you as a parent, what makes you feel happy and what makes your little one happy. My thought’s on parenting are very much ‘live and let live’ and as long as you and your little one are happy and they are healthy and thriving – that is great parenting!
Childcare is Fun is all about sharing qualified, professional advice together with 20 years experience of techniques that work, have worked and do work for all the parents (their children) who have approached me for help.
Routine is good…
Routine is the key to a happy sleeper.
Of course in the very early days babies are just getting used to the big wide world, so don’t worry about routines right away. You’re likely to find that they’ll fall into their own little feeding routine.
When I talk about routine I mean feeding, bedtime, naptimes and regualr daily activities. Even from a very young age your baby will thrive on routine such as a regular morning outing to the park or meeting other parents. Regular feeding times, and regular nap and bedtimes.
I offer tailormade plans for FREE via the parent advice service which are hugely popular and fit in with YOUR lifestyle. I believe in parenting there is NOT a one size fits all solution as all babies, children and parents are different. what works for one, won’t for another.
Say goodnight to sleepless nights!
Day time naps
Some parents think that if a baby doesn’t sleep during the day that they will be more tired at night and thus sleep longer and better – no! This is wrong, in fact the total opposite happens!
Babies that dont have regular naps during the day are grouchy, grumbly and overtired, therefore waking lots in the night.
Getting your child into good sleep habits can only really be obtained after a good daily routine is established. Without a good daily routine (and this goes for a baby or child of any age) getting them to sleep through the night is near impossible.
A good bedtime routine
Getting into a good routine doesn’t end at bedtime, if anything, it starts at bedtime! It’s important to get into a good bedtime routine from a very early age- start as you mean to go on!
Bedtime should start the minute you are upstairs getting your child ready to go to bed.
Start with a nice bath! Have lots of fun in the bath with toys, bubbles and singing time, even from a very young age this is important! Sing to your baby in the bath, trickle water over them and make fun sounds. The longer, more fun the bath, the better!
You can even try using some lavender drops or bedtime bath bubbles to encourage relaxation.
Always prepare your older child that bathtime is nearly over by giving a two minute warning. Sounds silly? Not at all – this is usually where lots of tantrums start and children who don’t have time to get used to the idea that something fun is about to end, can break-down into floods of tears which turns bedtime into a nightmare!
After their bath, dry your child with a nice big fluffy towel – making it lots of fun! Make sure your child’s pyjamas are in the bathroom or close by and dress your child, talking all the time about snuggly bedtime, or the bedtime book you are going to read together.
Keep using the word bedtime, or sleepy time to encourage the idea that this is in fact bedtime – not playtime!
In their bedroom, snuggle together with a book (babies will usually have their bedtime milk/feed at this point.) After the story get your child into bed, tuck them in and say goodnight.
Older children
At the end of storytime and they have got into bed DO NOT enter into a conversation about another story/ I need a drink/ I need a wee/ I want to play with my toys! My two in particular love bedtime, but they also love their stalling tactics.
Simply ignore any demands and simply say it’s bedtime.
Sleep training techniques:
Some parents are uncomfortable with the use of the controlled crying technique, I’ll be honest here, I have used it during my career (with parental consent) and of course, it works wonders and is safe to use. (You can read my post on control crying research here.) But it’s not everyones cup of tea and there are much gentler methods that I much prefer.
Controlled crying…
This technique teaches babies and toddlers to fall asleep independently. Controlled crying means checking on your child at set intervals, increasing the time between visits until they fall asleep.
Put your baby into their cot (or bed if an older child) and leave the room. Return after one minute (if they are still crying) and gently whisper ‘sleepy time’ stroking their tummy for two minutes, then leave. The idea is not for you to get your child back to sleep by stroking them to sleep, but to reassure yourself and your baby that all is well.
Gradually increase the interval between visits by two minutes each time, starting with two minutes and going up to a maximum of 10 minutes. Repeat the checking every 10 minutes until your child quietens and goes to sleep. Apply this technique at bedtime and repeat it every time the child wakes up. The method works quickly but it can be upsetting for parents, and I’m not a huge fan of the technique so I like to offer gentler techniques through my advice service.
There are many other sleep training techniques that I offer to parents such as my shh-pat technique and my stay-comforting technique and also my bedtime bottom shuffle! All will feature in my new Baby sleep book ‘The Baby Bedtime book – say goodnight to sleepless nights!’ Please get in touch for details about pre-ordering a copy, or to use the award winning FREE parenting advice service.
If you would like a FREE tailor-made sleep plan and routine for your babies, please get in touch via the contact form here.
Using these sleep training techniques (if followed correctly) should leave you with a happy sleeper not a nightmare napper within only a few days.
My top tips to saying goodnight to sleepless nights!
1- Check your childs sleeping area is comfortable, at the right temperature (not too hot or too cold) and that their room is a happy place to sleep.
2- Ensure your child is in comfortable clothing – try a sleeping bag to avoid kicking off of blankets in the night – a common problem of waking! Socks! I see this repeated everywhere yet so many parents don’t realise that babies get very cold feet- this can wake them up! Pop some socks over their pyjamas!
3- Hunger – Ensure your baby child has had a good last meal/feed (older children good portion at tea and light snack and drink before bed, babies good milk feed/formula portion.)
4- Good bedtime routine -Bath, Book, milk, bed.
5 – Always comfort night terrors/poorly poppets – Night terrors come and go. It’s essential to always comfort a child who has had a bad dream or night terror, but to avoid getting them out of their bed or room. Simply reassure them, a nice cuddle then back to sleep. Avoid night terrors by avoiding Childrens scary books or TV programs before bed and look around the room for things that may trigger worries such as dressing gowns hanging on doors, open cupboards, (remember when you were little- the things that frightened you?) The same applies to littlies suffering with poorliness or teething. Don’t use any sleep training techniques and offer comfort always.
6- Preperation is the key! Make bedtime a nice time not a grumpy ‘I don’t want to go to bed’ time by always preparing little ones in advance that activities are coming to an end and the bedtime routine is starting.
I hope these tips help you, like hundreds of other parents into gaining a happy sleepr and a happier night for all.
‘The Baby Bedtime book – say goodnight to sleepless nights!’ is out in Spring 2014.
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