I was woken up at 7.15am today with a car remote control antennae poked into my ear.
I was then rewarded with an apology from little man, in the form of a cuddle, which involved a sharp little elbow in my boob to leverage himself into the bed.
Meanwhile my other little lovely had poked my eye with her sylvanian family hedgehog.
This parenting malarkey can be a dangerous game.
From Lego foot injuries in the night to tripping over playmobil set-ups it seems my life has become a daily battle of avoiding the bruises.
My least favourite of the toddler accidental injuries is the headbut – often applied to the nose while reading stories. (Although the collar bone hurts just as much!) I’ve also regularly been kicked in the face while pushing them on the swings (my own clumsy fault!)
For my husband, it’s the headbut in the groin area – usually occurring after a full speed run towards him. Bang. Tears to the eyes.
I was recently treated to a new accidental injury involving two scooters. I’m lucky nothing was broken.
Picture the scene. The regular dog walk, two little ones on scooters.
When they go a certain distance ahead they turn around and scoot back (to be safe, to keep near me) only this time it involved a small hill.
Two scooters, two toddlers, me shouting ‘STOP!’ In slow motion shouty mamma tones.
Bang.
I was over. Two painful ankles. Two giggling little ones apologising through laughter. Me reassuring them through gritted teeth I was fine as I tried to stand.
Parenting is a dangerous game isn’t it? I’d love to hear your accidental injuries. If you’ve had none – do you wear armour? How do you avoid elbow boob?
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April 23, 2014
Miriam Faulkner
Elbows to boobs and head buts to groins are also very common in our house. Add to this the uncanny ability our have of always stepping on my OH bare toes and, the most painful of all, a miss judged lifty-up hug – you count to three then go to lift but they decide to up on three which results in you bending down in preparation and them jumping up in full on gay abandon and the most excruciating pain ever when their head meets your chin! Needless to say, they feel nothing!!